Take Me On (Take Me Series Book 1) Page 7

  “Tori. She wants to eat at that shrimp place. You know, the one from the movie.”

  “Figures. She loves that fucking place. I don’t see the appeal. It’s just another theme restaurant. You’re much better off going to a little hole in the wall diner somewhere.”

  “I don’t mind, really. I’ve been dealing with her and her quirky obsessions for years. She’s on a shrimp kick here lately. It’ll fade in a few weeks,” I said with a little laugh.

  Looking down out of the corner of my eye, I watched his hand resting on the gear shift. As much as I studied them in pictures and videos from the internet, it was nothing like really looking at the magnificence of them in real life. They were absolutely stunning.

  I quickly looked away, catching a glimpse of myself in the side mirror. How did I end up in that very spot at that very moment in time? Thousands, if not millions, of people across the world would have clamored to be sitting where I was all because of the man next to me. What the hell did he see in me? I never considered myself hard to look at, but I had a difficult time wrapping my brain around the idea of a man who could have any woman he wanted choosing to spend time with me.

  “Why are you so nice to me?” I asked, turning to look at his face.

  “I’m nice to everyone.” That lop-sided grin made an appearance as he spoke.

  “Oh, really? Because I could’ve sworn I heard that you’re kind of a dick.”

  “Okay, I’m nice to people who aren’t idiots. I’m a dick when people deserve it,” he said, laying on the horn at another car who abruptly cut in front of us, “like that asshole.”

  “So I’m not an idiot then. Good to know.”

  “You’re far from being an idiot. A little clumsy, but not an idiot.”

  “I’m not clumsy. Neither of those times were my fault.”

  “I’m still reserving judgment on that one.”

  We drove in a comfortable silence for a while as I watched the people of New York City until we neared Times Square. Traffic began to get heavy a few blocks away.

  “Where were you going anyway?” I asked.

  “I’ve got a meeting with a guy about some equipment he wants me to endorse. He’ll probably give me a free bass just for stopping by, so I figure why not?”

  “You can let me out here. It’s only a few more blocks.”

  “I’ll take you the rest of the way. It’s fine.”

  “No, seriously. Let me out. You need to go back the other way. Don’t inconvenience yourself for me.”

  “It would be easier, and I could avoid the tourist trap. Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, I’m good. The light just turned red up ahead. I’ll hop out.” He slowed the car to a stop. I unbuckled and got out of the car. Turning once to wave goodbye, I hurried down the street to my lunch date.

  I found Tori in no time, and we enjoyed a nice meal with no mention of Ash London or the ride he’d given me. We parted ways afterwards with the promise of shoe shopping in the near future.

  CHAPTER 8 – LILA STEPHENS

  I hadn’t heard from Tori in a few days, not since our lunch in Times Square, and I’d found myself with some down time. Having finished my work up for the week, I decided to call her for one of our epic chat sessions.

  “Hello?” Tori answered with little to no excitement in her voice.

  “What’s wrong? Are you alright?” My heart raced as I questioned her. I knew it had to be something awful for her to answer the phone like that—to lose her bubbly personality altogether was not a common occurrence.

  “I’m alright. We just got some bad news this morning, and it’s been pretty down over here ever since.”

  “What is it?”

  “It’s Ash’s dad… He died yesterday.”

  “Oh, no… How is he?”

  “Honestly… I don’t know. No one can get ahold of him. Matty has called him a bunch of times and so has Dax, but he isn’t answering. One of his assistants called to let us know. She said he wanted to be left alone. It must be hitting him pretty hard.”

  “So no one has gone to his house to check on him?” The mention of an assistant briefly piqued my curiosity, but I quickly forgot about it in light of the rest of what she’d told me.

  “When he said he needed time, I guess that’s what the guys thought was best. No one has been over there… Matty has been a wreck since he found out. Dan was like a father to him, too. He always encouraged them to go after their music career with everything they had, even when Matty’s parents weren’t as supportive.”

  “How did he pass?”

  “He’s been sick for a few years, since not long after Ash’s mom died. He developed some kind of heart condition, but he was never really the same after her accident.”

  I wondered what had happened to Ash’s mother, but it didn’t seem to be the right time to ask about her. “If you talk to him, send him my condolences, okay? I feel so bad for him,” I said, my voice cracking.

  “I will. I’m going to get off of here. We have to make some phone calls and find out if the funeral is here or in California. Need to make travel arrangements if it’s out there.”

  As we said our goodbyes and hung up the phone, the duct tape I’d used to fix my heart after Edie died began to loosen, threatening to send it to pieces again. I sat there in my big, comfy reading chair as tears began to moisten my cheeks. Slowly at first…

  The tears came fatter and more frequently as I thought about all that Tori had said to me. Pulling my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them, I cried for a man I’d never met, but most of all I cried for Ash. I knew what he was going through, and I knew the pain he was feeling all too well. I knew that he wanted to be alone, and I also knew that was the worst thing for him. Being alone with your thoughts for too long only makes everything worse.

  When Edie died, I didn’t want to even look at another person for weeks. I was quite content to hole up in my house with my dog, ignoring the outside world for as long as I could. The thing is, that doesn’t help. Not one bit. Your mind races with what-ifs, maybes, and what could I have done differently while your body drags, weighing you down. Being alone only makes it that much harder to get back to a normal state of mind, if there is such a thing after losing one of the most important people in your life.

  Before I had time to think any more about it, I stood and made my way to the door. Grabbing my coat, I put it on quickly and dashed down the front steps. Minutes later, I was at his door, ringing the bell. Would he even answer? I didn’t know, but I couldn’t let him suffer alone. Maybe he would think I was crazy for showing up at his door since we didn’t really know each other all that well, but I didn’t care. Let him think I was nuts as along as he wasn’t alone. Of course, there was the possibility that his unnamed, female assistant was inside with him, though I doubted it since the guys couldn’t even get him to answer his phone. I shoved the curiosity about her aside and focused on my mission.

  The door barely opened a few seconds later. The darkness behind him seeped out into the light as I looked up into the red rimmed eyes of not a rock star, but a man—a man who had just lost his father. He stepped aside, opening the door wider in an invitation for me to enter.

  I walked in as he closed the door behind me. My eyes adjusted quickly to the dimly lit room. Turning, I stood on my tip toes, throwing my arms around his neck and said, “I’m so sorry, Ash.” He stood there motionless with his arms at his sides. Fearing I had crossed a line by hugging him, I began to let go. Just as I did, he hung his head and fell to his knees.

  Pressing his face against my belly, he clung to me. His shoulders shook against me, jarring me just a little as he let his emotions go. I ran my fingers through his hair and held onto him tightly for what seemed like hours. In reality, it’d only been a few minutes when he pulled away from me, settling himself back on the floor.

  “I’m sorry you had to see that, Lila. I didn’t want to break down like that,” he said, glancing away from me as he wiped the ling
ering tears away from his face. “Not in front of anyone anyway.”

  “Hey… It’s okay… You have no reason to be ashamed of that.”

  “He would’ve told me to man up.”

  “Your dad?”

  He smiled briefly and nodded. “Yup.”

  “I think he’d give you a pass this time, don’t you think?”

  He stood, motioning for me to follow him into the living room. Plopping himself down onto the couch, he grabbed an almost empty bottle of vodka off the end table. Twisting the top off, he took a big swig of the clear liquid before offering me some.

  “No, thanks,” I said, putting my hand up briefly. “I don’t really drink.”

  “I don’t really drink enough.”

  It was then that I realized he was not only grieving, but at least partially drunk as well. Not a good combination at all. Taking my coat off, I threw it on the back of a chair and sat down beside him.

  “Maybe you should slow down a little, yeah?” I asked, taking the bottle from his hand and setting it down.

  “Yeah, maybe… How did you know? Has it hit the internet already?”

  “No. Well, I don’t know if it has. Tori told me when I called her a little while ago.”

  He sat there in silence for a moment before pointing at the bottle of vodka. “I need another drink.”

  “When was the last time you ate?”

  He shrugged, “Yesterday, I think,” he said, reaching for the bottle.

  I grabbed it before he could get ahold of it. “You need to eat something. No more of this right now.”

  “You’re not the boss of me,” he said as he flashed that cocky grin of his.

  “Maybe not, but you are in no state to argue with me. You’re going to eat something.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he said, raising a hand to his forehead in a salute. “What are you cooking for me?”

  A loud laugh burst from my mouth. “I don’t cook. I’ll order you something.”

  “Can I have a big fucking pizza?” he asked, making his arms in the shape of a large circle as he leaned forward.

  “If that’s what you want.” I pulled out my phone and brought up a food delivery app. “What’s your house number?” Luckily, I already knew the street name since it was the same as mine.

  “2246, I think… No, wait, its 2264… 64 fuck, I don’t know. Those are the numbers. I just don’t remember what order they go in. It’s on the mailbox.”

  I quickly went outside and checked the number before returning to where he sat. “What do you want on your pizza?”

  “Pepperoni and all the fucking cheese they have.”

  “I don’t think they’ll put on that much. How about we just say extra cheese?”

  “Tell them it’s for Ash London. They’ll do what they’re fucking told,” he said as the rock star peeked out from behind the eyes of the grieving man.

  I couldn’t help but giggle to myself behind a smile I tried to repress. The situation was all kinds of sad, but sometimes you have to find the humor or you’ll lose your mind altogether.

  “You have a nice smile, you know that, Lila?”

  “Thanks,” I said as I finished up ordering the pizza. “Your food will be here in about an hour.”

  “Good. Now give me more vodka.”

  “Not until after you’ve eaten and sobered up a little. Then we’ll see.”

  “Hard ass.”

  “Why don’t you lie down on the couch until it gets here? Maybe some rest will do you good.”

  “Only if I can lay my head in your lap…”

  I hesitated, but I was there to comfort him, so I gave in. “Yeah, sure, but you’ll have to get up when your pizza gets here or I won’t be able to answer the door.”

  He nodded once before placing his head in my lap and stretching himself out across the couch as much as he could. I stroked his hair as his eyes closed.

  CHAPTER 9 – ASH LONDON

  I laid there with my head in her lap in silence for almost an hour. Relishing the comfort of her hands working their way through my hair and grazing my face softly, I fought with everything I had to not break down in front of her again. Though I was a little buzzed, I was nowhere near as drunk as I’d pretended to be. The bottle of vodka had been about half-emptied from the night I’d taken her home from Matty and Tori’s, but I would let her think I’d slung it all back that day. Maybe if she thought I was plastered, she wouldn’t think me a pussy for crying like a giant baby over his daddy.

  My dad was gone, and I was failing miserably at accepting it. I found myself thinking that surely he was alive and well, going about his day to day life out in California. He couldn’t possibly be dead. It was just a cruel joke my brother Christopher was playing on me, and he’d somehow gotten my sister Sara to go along with it. I hadn’t learned all of the life lessons I needed to from him, and we hadn’t gotten around to discussing everything there was to talk about. I hadn’t made amends with him yet, so he couldn’t possibly be gone. Could he?

  The fact that I’d disappointed my father, and I hadn’t redeemed myself yet, at least in my mind, would haunt me for the rest of my life. He never gave me any indication that he felt like I was a fuck up, but I knew I was. I’d spent too many years doing things that wouldn’t make any parent proud or happy despite the millions of fans I gained from my antics. If it weren’t for my lifestyle choices, he wouldn’t have even been in California to begin with. He could’ve still been in Brooklyn and maybe that would have made all the difference in the world. Maybe he’d still be alive.

  I owed so much to my father—actually my stepfather. He married my mom when I was four. My biological dad passed away when I was too young to remember. He’d been stricken with bone cancer and died when I was barely two. Though I didn’t have any memories of him, I was very close to his parents growing up. They lived just two houses away so I spent a lot of time with them. I knew I’d lost a hell of a man for a father if even half of what they told me about him was true. I was incredibly lucky when Dan Ferguson stepped up to raise me as his own in the unavoidable absence of my biological father.

  The doorbell interrupted the quietness of the room. Lifting my head, Lila slid out from underneath me.

  “My wallet is around here somewhere,” I said a little quieter than I’d meant to. I’d almost dozed off and was starting to feel a heaviness settling over me that I’d hoped the alcohol would help me avoid.

  “I paid already. Just used my credit card,” she said with a smile and answered the door.

  The smell of pizza, and hopefully all the cheese they had, wafted through the room.

  “Where do you want this?”

  Pointing at the coffee table, I said, “Right there.”

  “Alright,” she said, putting the box down. “Do you have paper plates or should I just go grab some paper towels?”

  I shook my head. “I’ll just eat it out of the box. Do you want some?”

  “Um, yeah… I could eat pizza every day of the week and twice on Sunday.”

  “My kind of girl…”

  I thought I saw her cheeks flush, but she looked away so damn fast that I couldn’t tell if they really were turning red. Just as I finished up my first piece of pizza, I started thinking about her sudden appearance. We’d only interacted a handful of times. Though I didn’t mind her dropping in and I enjoyed her company, I started to question why she was there. Hitting me like a ton of bricks, the thought occurred to me that she didn’t really have the best of intentions and was just another user looking for a way in.

  Surely she wanted something—more than likely my cock or my money—and she thought it’d be easy to play on my emotions. Why else would she be there? No one in as long as I could remember had done anything for me without expecting something in return, and I was convinced she was no different. Paranoia is a hell of a thing to contend with sometimes.

  She could have my dick if she really wanted it. Hell, I’d have given her money, too, if I’m being honest. I was ne
ver stingy with my finances. If I could help someone out, I did, and I very rarely ever saw a penny of it paid back. My free nature with money is one of the reasons I’d been taken advantage of so many times.

  Throwing the crust back into the box, I looked over at her. Determined to force out her true intention, I decided to make her endgame easier to achieve.

  “Do you need something to drink? I’ve got cans of soda in the fridge.”

  “Yeah, that’d be good.”

  “I don’t have any of that diet shit though,” I said over my shoulder while walking toward the kitchen.

  “I don’t drink that diet shit, so no worries there.”

  A few moments later, I returned with two cans of soda. Cracking them both open, I set one on the table, and kept the other in my hand. I pretended to hand it to her, but snatched it back when she reached for it.

  Sitting down beside her, closer than I had been before, I said, “You have to pay the toll if you want this.”

  She raised her eyebrow and leaned away from me, crossing her arms. “I’m thirsty, but not that thirsty.”

  “Come on, Lila. Why don’t you come over here and take a ride?” I asked, grabbing at my crotch for emphasis. “It’d make me forget about all the sadness and fucked up thoughts going through my mind, and I know you want to.”

  Shaking her head, she said, “No. You’d forget for a few minutes, maybe…” Her hands began to tremble just then.

  “Oh, is that what you think of me? I assure you I can last for hours,” I said, leaning into her as my lips got dangerously close to her ear.

  “I’m not questioning your stamina at all,” she said, flustered as her cheeks most definitely turned deep crimson. There was no mistaking it that time. She scooted away from me and her face softened while she gripped her knees. I suspected she did that to try and hide her shaking hands. “I only meant that you might forget for a little bit, but it won’t make it go away completely. It’ll come crashing back in, and you’ll feel just as bad as you do now, maybe even worse.”

  “Okay,” I said with a sigh. “You don’t want to fuck me. What’s your deal then?”